Fuck myself. Need anger management

I really hope we can talk it all out. Sibling talk don't they. You are one of my true and closest friend and i don't wanna lose you. Or am i thinking too much again. Cause you know, emotion don't travel through texts.

Im not a good friend. Not a good brother.

All i needed was a talk. Now i got it. That makes me happy. Reasurring me.

原來一切都是自己想出來的。但是外面好了。家呢？家裡還是冷清清的。

Settle

找了人，人卻沒回應。看來注定一人。

And i thought you understand me.... guess not.

当我总于以为我找到一为知己。却没想到原来一切都是幻想，幻觉。一切都去的太匆忙。我就不能在朋友的幸福中沉淀再久些吗。让我在走前感受到快了。

Just hated how my words n emotion couldn't get across thru texts. It seems like, and really that with more inprovement in technology, more people are getting used to them. Fake lols. Fake hahas. How many time do you actually mean them when you put them down. Was it all just to make things less serious. The atmoshpere. The ambience.


The best invention should be one that will allow people true emotion to get to others straight. Without observation. Just straight to the point. Perhaps it will help people like me who don't talk to many people.

有時想講講話都覺得沒人會聽。那我就閉上嘴吧。

在家也一樣。在外面也一樣。無人了解。無語了。

So thats how the game 'life' is play eh... Got it. Can i quit the game now?

Whos with me when im gone...

School. whats the point of coming? when i realize that throughout most of my studying years, i learnt 70% of stuff on my own. 30% coming from the teachers when clearing doubt.

Not gonna talk unless spoken to. For every word that come out of my mouth is always deem as rude. Nonsense. Unwanted.

Be truthful with ourself. How many true and close friends do you really have? I can count them within 1 hand.

Ok. Im irritating. I can observe.

Got so much things to say. But i don't wanna just say them out. I wanna talk. Just talk.

Is gonna get out of all of yall life. Hopefully that's gonna make yall better. If not even greater.

Sometimes its not that i don't laugh with them. I just don't feel like. I will be like putting on a mask. A fake front.

No one understand how i feel. I'll be surprise if you do cause even i don't understand myself.

3rd day of school. Really no feel of going school again if i don't enjoy myself. Hard to be myself. Continue this way and may consider not going school....

Keep your temper in check. Chin koon. Don't lose it.

Fking sian. 早知道不要來了

We. Live in this house. But are we in the house?

My disappearence should be in the best interest of everyone. At least 1 less person for them to remember.

Feels that i will lose my friends... Assure me thats not happening plz....

Never really been good at communicating. Now with the improvement in technology. I find it hard to convey emotion through them. Never really been a good person at telling people problem. I have a vision. That when i graduate, ...........

Sometimes i feel like a fucking bitch. Perhaps i should just stop observing things around me. And just get on with this life.

Human being. We care about others. Thats what make us stand out and different from the millions and millions people. But why do we care?

Which come first? Care or feeling? We care regardless of feeling or we feel thats why we care. One is dependent on each trait, but the sequence gave it two very different meaning.

Is caring a trait that is dominant in all human? I don't think so. If not why would there be so many heartbreaking incident throughout the world.

No one understands me. I can feel the changes in me. Getting more and more short tempered. Losing mood over nonsencial stuff. Feeling fk every now and then. I should just stay away from all, right? Don't drag others who has a wonderful and good looking future. I shoud just...... Die.

Fk sian.

They say communication is the link between people. I have lost that link. They don't understand me anymore. It feels like ... No... I have to put on a fake front in front of them everytime. I can't take it anymore. Just wanna run away from home.

Yap. Always like this. Wonder abt my future. And i thot friends are made effortlessly. They will be there. It doesnt seems to me tis way... Or am i wrong right from the start

It has come to that night again. Why

So much things to say but no one here. At all.

If i was gone, none of all this would have happen. All happy no saddness no quarrels. Maybe my existence was really just an unwanted part in their life.

Ever since that incident. I feel like my temper ain't control by me anymore. It has become something like a loose cannon. Erupting when i don't want it to.

Whats with the recent trend of 'friends become strangers' its that time of the year isn't it?

They can't always be there for you. They got their own friends too.
So why treat them like you own them. They ain't yours. Just be glad that they care about you and that is more then enough.


That bring me to this question. Who choose friends for us? We choose ourself or they come to us? Get my question

Worth it? Or not?

Couldn't sleep...

Just feeling the same old shit. Maybe that ain't any other shit. Its the real me. Sometimes laugh at ppl who complain that their always alone. Whats wrong with it? We didn't choose to be alone. Well, i choose not to be in a crowd. Infact i think crowd is a place where mask are put on. Where people starts to get ontop of people. Climbing over them. Stepping them. Pushing them down.

Ya i noe all choose to be in groups cuz of various reason.

Fk it. Maybe im just a hypocrite, a fucker for writing all these. Fuck this world fuck this blog fuck me

ithoughtiwonyoubutsadlyno.
Loneliness you won. Happy?

Im
Sad
And
I
Dun
Noe
Why

Maybe its not that you've change.
Its the real you.

Want to talk but realise there is no one at home. Hard to talk eh

So many movies but who to watch it with

No mood to run... Why

Thoses voices in my head.

Destination: home

But journay taken's gonna be different from others.

Freedom is so near to me now. But its gonna close soon.

Sometimes i wonder whats making me so dread of going home...

Truth: there wasn't even a jam.

I just didn't wanna go home so soon.